The Coaches' Chronicle is a monthly feature spotlighting one coach, one philosophy, and one meaningful conversation.
The Coaches’ Chronicle is a recognition-driven editorial platform devoted to highlighting coaches and leaders who are sharing their work with depth, integrity, and heart.
Each month, we feature one coach and go deep into their philosophy, lived experience, and the work they are here to do in the world. No noise. No filler. Just a conversation worth your full attention.
Melissa Ford on Living Service & Coaching Transformation
By Jonathan Carroll, Founder, The Coaches' Chronicle
There are certain coaches who don't just "teach" the work. They radiate it. Their presence slows the room down. Their questions land cleanly. Their honesty carries warmth, not performance. Melissa Ford is that kind of coach.
I'm genuinely honoured to share that Melissa is the first coach we're featuring in our newly simplified format, where each monthly edition spotlights one coach only, with a single focused conversation, deeper attention, and a cleaner reading experience for you, our subscribers. No extras. No noise. Just one powerful voice, fully heard.
Melissa's book Living Service: The Journey of a Prosperous Coach is an honest, grounded look at the inner shifts that build a prosperous practice. But what moved me most in our conversation is that her philosophy is not an idea. It's an embodiment. Living service is not a "strategy" for her. It's a way of being.
Our Interview
(A trimmed Q and A from our conversation, edited lightly for clarity. Watch the full video replay below.)
Jonathan Carroll: First question. What led you into this path of coaching? What had you think, "This is what I want to do"?
Melissa Ford: I never thought that. What happened for me was I had a personal area of my life where I was struggling. It was with my children. I realized that if I didn't do something different, by the time they were teens I'd probably not have a relationship with either one of them.
I found a really great therapist who was more like a coach. The guy changed my life because he asked me questions that were confusing at first, like, "If you could be happy, would you?" which implied I had a choice.
I lived in a righteous victim world where people were "making my life hard". I started exploring my own path and discovered people weren't doing that. It was what I was believing about the world and about people.
I studied at The Option Institute for 14 years. It changed my life. Then I thought, wow, my life changed so dramatically, I'd really like to help other people. Back then coaching wasn't mainstream at all. It was the wild west.
Living Service vs. Doing Service
Jonathan Carroll: You frame your work around the notion of living service, not just offering service. What's the distinction, and why does it matter so much for coaches?
Melissa Ford: One is doing service.
I started off doing service where I'd offer a couple conversations, show I can help, maybe even look impressive, and from there I'll get something. A client. A renewal. A referral. Something.
Living service took time. It was seeing where I was not being it, where I wasn't genuinely interested in the other person, where my focus slipped back on me when it needed to be on them.
With enough practice, living service became an embodiment. It's still occurring today because I'm learning nuances of service. Not just a framework or language. A way of being, so even if someone doesn't work with me, my hope is they're seen, heard, and the time together made a difference.
The Hardest Internal Obstacles
Jonathan Carroll: In your book, you're refreshingly honest about your early years. What were some of the hardest internal obstacles before your business truly became a thriving practice?
Melissa Ford: They're all internal, by the way. Nothing external.
When I decided I was going to become a professional coach, I had no idea what was required. I thought I was a great coach. I hired Steve Chandler. I wanted a step-by-step system for getting clients.
The hardest thing under all of that was realizing I absolutely did not believe in myself. No belief in my competency.
I finally said to Steve, "I don't believe in myself. I'm certain I cannot do this." And he said, "That's great. You don't have to believe in yourself. If we spend time on confidence, that's another flaming hoop. All you have to do is experiment."
That was a huge relief. It turned everything into a game.
Professionalism
I was a former attorney. I had a rigid image of what professional meant. It lacked warmth because I was holding up an image. Steve said, "You can be professional and friendly." That changed everything.
The Redo
I learned I could ask for a redo. If I felt a conversation didn't serve someone, I'd say, "I'd like a redo." Clean slate. Distraction became an opportunity to clean things up and return to service.
Service Without Self-Sacrifice
Jonathan Carroll: A lot of coaches equate service with self-sacrifice. How did you learn to separate genuine service from over giving or undercharging?
Melissa Ford: At first, I didn't like service. I thought it was people trying to look noble. I was very judgemental about the do-gooders. Which is funny because Steve Chandler is all about service.
Eventually I saw I had to be part of the service equation too. If I was giving sessions to please someone or to get them as a client, it wasn't serving me, them, or my business. I had to get real about what was working for me, what was fun for me.
On fees, I think coaches can work their way into the fee. Check what you're comfortable with. You're not stuck.
I also saw how fee can be service. When I paid my coach a strong fee, my participation and ownership went way up. The fee supported commitment.
And pro bono often showed me something too. People didn't always prioritize it. In corporate, it's especially important because if the company is paying, they don't always have skin in the game. You've got to slow down and have them see that what they want is up to them.
The Inner Shift That Changed Everything
Jonathan Carroll: You emphasize inner development over tactics. What inner shift made the single biggest difference in your income and confidence?
Melissa Ford: There's been a lot. But I'll go back to about six years in. I held steady at an income for three or four years. It was an income I never imagined making early on. But I noticed I was bored. Slightly checked out. Less enthusiasm.
I looked closer and realized I was playing it safe in conversations. I was seeing things, but not saying them. I was afraid I'd offend someone and they'd leave.
So I chose one client as my test case, someone I loved and didn't want to lose. I asked if I could share something I saw. My heart was thumping. I shared it. She stopped and said, "Oh my gosh, that's what's happening."
I saw the service in loving honesty. It was like the gates opened. I kept testing it. Permission was given for a relationship where I'm willing to say things, and they're open to hearing it.
And bam, up went income, service, connection. The game became fun again.
"I saw the service in loving honesty. It was like the gates opened."
Jonathan Carroll: You write candidly about fear, especially fear of rejection. How does that fear show up for coaches today, even experienced ones?
Melissa Ford: It can be fear of rejection, fear of getting it wrong, fear of not enough.
I'm okay now with it showing up. It used to mean something was wrong with me. Now I see that when you're passionate and willing to grow, discomfort will show up.
When it shows up, I get curious. Not to make it go away, but to see what's truer about it. I still take action with the discomfort.
And I'll be honest, sometimes it is gripping. It's uncomfortable. But it's part of being human and there's not a lot of information in it. If you have a coach, bring it. Get curious. Keep experimenting.

Amazon.com

Living Service: The Journey of a Prosperous Coach

Living Service: The Journey of a Prosperous Coach - Kindle edition by Ford, Melissa, Moore, David. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Living Service: The Journey of a Prosperous Coach.

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Prosperity Redefined
Jonathan Carroll: Has prosperity taken on new meaning for you since writing the book?
Melissa Ford: Yes. I wrote the book six and a half or seven years ago. My coach told me, "You're going to write this book and it's going to do nothing for your income." I appreciated that because it kept me from unconsciously waiting for the book to do the work.
Prosperity now is, yes, it's fun to create income and clients. It feels good to be competent at generating money consistently and taking care of myself and my family.
But prosperity is also what I've experienced through ongoing coaching and understanding how the mind works, what emotions are, and that I'm greater than that. It created openness and better connection in relationships and community.

Learning is a big piece. I didn't know how to learn. Learning used to mean I wasn't competent. Now learning is fun. Prosperity is being willing to enter learning spaces where I don't know, I don't have control, I might not look capable. That space is full of possibility.
And I love asking clients: if you suspend "you don't have it" as a truth, do you have it right now? Typically they answer yes.
What They All Have in Common
Jonathan Carroll: You've worked with coaches, entrepreneurs, executives, career changers. What do they have in common when they feel stuck?
Melissa Ford: They're ripped by a story about who they believe themselves to be, always based on deficiency.
My job is to be with them and help them see it isn't true. There are layers. You peel one off and there's another. Eventually you get to the core belief. That's where freedom is.
It's protected, often with shame. That's okay. Resistance is part of the process.
And what an opportunity to love someone. People are trying so hard. It's a mental battle. When they get glimpses, you see them relax.
I'm grateful for the coaches who have hung in there with me. This profession is a gift. We witness humanity and pursue truth beyond the mind.
Doing More vs. Seeing More Clearly
Jonathan Carroll: How do you help clients distinguish between doing more and seeing more clearly?
Melissa Ford: Sometimes I don't. Sometimes someone is so in a do-do way of operating that if I have an agenda to get them to see, I create resistance. Then it's my agenda.
The do-do can be a protective mechanism. It has served them a long time. My job is to pay attention to where I see it getting in their way, but more importantly, where do they see it getting in their way? Do they even see it as a problem?
If they don't, we keep coaching. It will come back if you're with them long enough.
What Goes Wrong in Enrolment
Jonathan Carroll: Many coaches struggle with enrolment conversations. From your perspective, what goes wrong before the conversation even begins?
Melissa Ford: What do you think goes wrong?
Jonathan Carroll: I think if it becomes transactional too early. Doing service expecting a thing. Entering the conversation thinking "plus one on my roster" instead of "who is this person" and "how deep can we go?"
Also, many coaches are taught sales tactics that imply someone should spend several thousands within 60 minutes. Not impossible, but unlikely.
Melissa Ford: I wouldn't hire a coach for thousands in a 60-minute call.
Even renewing with Steve, I wanted clarity before saying yes, and I had years of relationship.
"Any time it gets transactional, coaches, you know what it is. Tightening. Neediness. Take a beat. Get your head on straight."
This doesn't mean you don't ask someone to join. It means you do it after you've connected and they've seen the value. And they may say no. That means nothing about you.
If I'm transactional and racing and they say no, I'm going too fast. I get back into their world, what they see as possible, what would make it worth it to say yes to themselves.
People never forget those conversations, especially when they say no, because they realise it was all for them.
Service in Action
Jonathan Carroll: You've said service is a powerful alternative to sales pressure. How does service show up in the enrolment conversation?
Melissa Ford: I had a recent conversation where someone had money concerns, another group they were considering, writing a book, they had a lot going on. They said they tend to people-please.
Service looked like telling them, if you say yes to please me, I won't accept it.
They had another call coming up, so I said, "Let's stop this call. Go prep. I want you grounded and ready. That's what I care about." To me, that was service.
Jonathan Carroll: Great example. It wasn't about handling objections. It was releasing them into sovereignty.
Melissa Ford: Exactly. What would serve them was to get ready for their call. So we were done. Go do it.
What Separates Those Who Keep Growing
Jonathan Carroll: What separates the coaches who plateau from those who keep growing year after year?
Melissa Ford: For me, it would come from unwillingness to keep learning and keep being coached.
I love leaders who invest in themselves and keep learning. Steve role modelled it. Karen Davis inspires me in this way. I'm being coached by Carolyn Freyer-Jones, Trevor Timbeck, and Claire Diamond. They model ongoing learning.
Plateauing happens when you stop pouring into yourself. Otherwise you get bored. Also, you must keep going where there's resistance, where you're not willing to question something. Every time I've done that, things have changed dramatically.
For Coaches Not Seeing Results
Jonathan Carroll: For coaches doing all the right things but not seeing the results they want, where would you invite them to look?
Melissa Ford: First, if they have a story about why they're not getting what they want and it's about other people, wrong tree. If the story is about what's wrong with them, it's also not there.
If they're caught in those places, ask for help.
Finding the Right Coach
Find the best coach you can within your range. Look for people living what they coach, not just giving advice. Have a couple conversations. Be honest about what you think is in your way. Bring it.
Be open to learning, and know there will be discomfort. If you've been avoiding discomfort, you're missing the opportunity to learn.
And none of us are special. This is a recurring human pattern. Ask for help.
What Feels Most Alive Now
Jonathan Carroll: As you look ahead, what feels most alive or meaningful now compared to earlier chapters of your career?
Melissa Ford: Collaboration is alive for me. I used to think collaboration was a bad idea. Now I'm collaborating with coach Levina Li. I ran The Service Game for years and we've created The Service and Leadership Game.
I was reluctant to add leadership to service because I didn't want it to sound like "2.0." But leadership, being direct and directing, is service. In enrolment, being direct about what's required is service.
Another thing alive is revealing versus concealing. Revealing what story is running in your mind creates deeper connection. That practice is spilling into other relationships too.

And I got to what was driving my need to prove I could have a prosperous business. I thought I was proving I could make money, but I was proving that if I made money, then I'd have a voice, I could ask for what I wanted, and I would matter.
When I saw the misunderstanding that I didn't matter, it was like someone pulled a plug and the drive dissipated. Sanity returned. Conversations became more relaxed. Client creation became joyful instead of proving.
Now business is more expression, more game, more curiosity. If something isn't working, what else can I test?
And I'm excited about the next seven to ten years of creating at this level.
Leadership Beyond Performance
Jonathan Carroll: What does leadership mean to you now, especially in an industry that sometimes overemphasizes performance or personality?
Melissa Ford: It's definitely not about personality because I just cried during this interview.
It's not about performance either. It's about realness, relatedness, love, and the courage to do something even if it's uncomfortable.
It's the courage to have conversations, maybe mess it up, go back, redo. It's the ability to get past what I think needs protecting internally.
It might not look great along the way, but I'm willing to get back in there and keep conversing if they are.
One Piece of Advice for New Coaches
Jonathan Carroll: One last question. If you could give one piece of advice to a new coach entering the industry today, what would it be?
Melissa Ford: Find yourself a great coach. But know they're not going to create your transformation. You'll do it through testing, honesty, reflection, sharing your fears.
If you can't afford a coach, find a great school, but also, if you don't get great at enrolment, you can't change the world. You can't change the world if you don't have clients.
This profession requires paid coaching clients. Get great at enrolment. Get masterful. Don't think you've got it after a year or two. It's nuanced. Service is nuanced. That's the fun.
"Become as good an enroller as you are a coach; coaching can only help civilization if there are clients." - Steve Chandler
Closing Words
Jonathan Carroll: I love it. Melissa, you have such deep wisdom. I've really enjoyed being with you. I appreciate your heart and the way you show up. Thank you for contributing to our amazing industry and to The Coaches' Chronicle community.
Melissa Ford: You're welcome, Jonathan. I so appreciate this time. I'm glad we had this extra time because I've gotten to know you better as well. It's pretty cool.
Jonathan Carroll: Here's to telling more amazing stories.
A Final Reflection
What I appreciate most about Melissa's work is that she does not make service into branding. She makes it into practice. A lived orientation. A constant return. Again and again, Melissa points us back to the same place: the story, the self-protection, the subtle transaction, the hidden fear, and the moment-by-moment choice to come back to truth.
Her message to coaches is both sobering and liberating. You do not need to feel confident to grow. You do not need a perfect personality to lead. You do not need to force your way into results. You do need willingness: willingness to experiment, to be coached, to reveal rather than conceal, and to serve without agenda.
"Melissa Ford is a coach who reminds us that prosperity is not a number. It is a fullness. A learning posture. An openness. A deeper capacity to love people while telling the truth."
And for that reminder, I am grateful.
Jonathan Carroll
Founder, The Coaches' Chronicle
Watch the full interview with Melissa Ford and Jonathan Carroll below (62 min).
Jonathan Carroll, Founder
The Coaches’ Chronicle
Jonathan Carroll is devoted to elevating the art and profession of coaching through depth, mastery, and conscious impact. As the Founder of The Coaches’ Chronicle, he curates conversations that invite reflection, integrity, and a more mature expression of leadership within the coaching industry.
Through his work as a coach, author, facilitator, and strategic partner, Jonathan supports conscious leaders who feel called into greater alignment, coherence, and purpose. His approach emphasizes presence over performance, wisdom over tactics, and the long view of meaningful, sustainable expansion.
Jonathan’s work is rooted in energetic alignment, intuitive leadership, and an ongoing exploration of infinite possibility. He is particularly drawn to the intersection of time honoured mysteries and modern day mastery, where inner development and real-world leadership meet.
He is also the founder of The Dragonfly Club™, a global community and experiential ecosystem offering private alliances and immersive retreats for visionary leaders at pivotal moments of evolution. Across all his work, Jonathan creates space for clarity, refinement, and a more grounded expression of what it means to lead in our modern world. Click on Jonathan's photo to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Amazon.com

Way of the Dragonfly: 101 Maxims for Leading a High Vibrational & Conscious Life

Way of the Dragonfly: 101 Maxims for Leading a High Vibrational & Conscious Life [Carroll, Jonathan] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Way of the Dragonfly: 101 Maxims for Leading a High Vibrational & Conscious Life

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